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If you have found these faults in this person already.....whats the point? There is no good way to point these things out or should you; it seems you may not be attracted to this person like you thought you may be.
I believe she was testing you. If she worded it in that maner, out of the blue, I think she was just trying to find out more about you. When you responded that "she is the only one who could make that sort of judgement or whatever", thats when she said that it probably wouldnt happen right? If that is the case, she was definately just testing you. You should call her right away, and set up another meeting and confess that when she metioned dating the other guy, that you didnt know what to say, and havent been able to stop thinking about her, worrying that something like that could happen. By responding the way you did, you agreed that it "could happen". She was looking for a "I will not let that happen."
so what advice should i tell katie? Any suggestions?
Now she is just fantastic! Awe-inspring! What amazing eyes!
well, I decided to wait until today Thursday to call her. I called once in the afternoon and she didn't pick up her cell. So then I e-mailed her just now, nice casual e-mail asking her how she is and etc. I've been busy but I called her and nobody picked up so now I write her a special little e-mail for her, etc.. I finished up by asking her to the Fair this weekend if she isn't busy. ASked her to let me know so we can make final plans.
What do people think of it?
Its also becoming increasingly hard to discuss anything. She deals with issues by withdrawing/going out to drink/getting high and pretending things are fine the next day. But they are not. Sweeping the problems under the rug no longer works for me and I am sad to think that walking away is the best solution. I don't expect her to give up the things I listed above, at the same time I think she's overdoing it and a balance needs to be found for this to become a healthy relationship. Again, maybe I am just being too uptight about it.
Oh wow!!
But I've decided to go to counselling before deciding one way or the other about the relationship. If nothing else, it will help me to resolve some of my issues. And I will talk to her about the lying, but last night she claimed that she didn't lie about the kissing and that it was just because she can't remember what happened clearly. Not being able to remember things is a form of denial (I looked it up), and she's got denial in spades, but it also makes for a very convenient out if she doesn't want to admit the truth about something.