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Comments:
So you read it ;.
Dear Laurynn, No, I don't think so. I don't think you qualify for idiot status. I think you encountered someone who has mastered the introduction, who knows how to present an attractive facade that any intelligent, rational person would find appealing. Seeming sincere, self-aware, responsible & generous. All very good qualities. And to some extent he actually does possess them, right? It's just not consistent. And at first it can throw you off the scent of the less desirable things he exudes (like self-aborption, superficiality, you know better than I). It took you several weeks to see through that. Maybe -- I don't know but maybe -- there were a couple of vague warning signs you could have picked up on. Like the fact that he came on so strong so quickly. He'd made up his mind about you (or seemed to) pretty fast, hadn't he? A lot of intense togther time. Gives you less time to step back and take real perspective, and gets you sucked into the whirlpool of emotion and hope. I doubt that's deliberate on his part (the effect on you I mean), it's probably just how he deals with relationships: throw himself in, thrash around for a while, jump out before he ever learns how to swim. I don't really see how you could have been expected to know that this guy is actually a grade-A flake. Which he definitely seems to be. You've been questioning the process all along and although you're already emotionally engaged (and therefore hurting) you didn't get too enmeshed in this. I think you did very well all things considered. It takes some of us much much longer to get out of the clutches of a monster of indecision & selfishness. Took me four years! The problem I've found with monsters of indecision & selfishness is that they rarely understand themselves that that is what they are, they lack self-awareness, and they need to believe that they are good and that their actions are perfectly rational. Your guy is always going to present his position as if it were the only reasonable way to see things, he will have no problem saying one thing and doing another, for "feeling" things (do such monsters feel the emotions they profess?) but not allowing such feelings to guide their actions. I'll bet you are a strong intelligent & independent person. What has tripped you up is not an aggressor but a passive agressor -- and perhaps you weren't on the lookout for that. I'm sorry to hear it. But you'll get away quickly enough I'll bet, now that you see him for what he actually is. In truth he's pretty pathetic and laughable. What an idiot -- him I mean, not you!
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Somehow my gut feels, responding with a message of acceptance - short and sweet is better and more mature, and yet another part of me thinks its better to just let go now in these situations, and go NC because its avoids any chance of saying the wrong thing and making things worse, and puts an end to the back and forth dialogue so you can focus on what's next.
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Why did she marry him then if he had all those bad habits?
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I think you may have pushed him far enough now that he is considering ending things. But then again you need to have your needs in the relationship met as well. I believe women are much more aware & a little more controlling in the relationship. So, when my bf & I got to the breaking point I changed things first & he followed soon after (though he refused to read the book, I still gave him advice from it, of course not telling him where it came from). You need to take the incentive & change the way you treat him first. Things may take a while to heal & you will get fed up with being the only one working on it. I definitely can't tell you how long you will have to wait until he's ready to start meeting your needs in the relationship but you will know when the time comes.
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Men aren't mind readers. That's why you do what you do then talk about it. At least I do. I always learn by trial of fire. If I touch it, I get burned. But I have to touch it first before I learn that it burns.
bigbass: Between the obvious pro shots and the doops, this is your final warning to find a new source. Previous warning here .
Meeting 2: He told you he doesn't believe in monogamous relationships. Then he walked away with another girl. Doesn't mean he's into that girl, but if he were into you, he would have been inclined to spend more time with you. You should take his statement about how he views relationships at face value. He might just be saying it because he wants to let you down easier or he might mean it. Either way, he just told you he doesn't want a relationship with you. That's pretty definite evidence he's not interested, and his later behavior supports it as well.
I would not waste time putting it on blast though. I'd contact the party involved and would be prepared to provide proof.
Do you really need someone on here to twist your arm ?
First, This is not the woman who answered the door. The girl who answered the door was NOT…
Yeah,she grabbed my attention as well.
I'm a Funny energetic sensitive happy loyal loving single mom. I'm a very outspoken person and say what's.